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When I went got to the party
They gave me a forty
And I must have been thirsty
Cause I drank it so quickly

When I got to the bedroom
There was somebody waiting
And it isn't my fault
That the barbarian raped me

When I went to get tested
I brought along my best friend Melissa Mahoney, who had once been molested
And she knew how to get there
She knew all the nurses
They were al really friendly
But the test came up positive oh oh

I've seen better days but I don't care
Oh I just sent a letter in the mail...

When I got my abortion
I brought along my boyfriend
We got there an hour, before the appointment
And outside the building
There were all these annoying fundamentalist Christians
We tried to ignore them oh oh

I've had better days but I don't care
Oasis got my letter in the mail...

When vacation was over
The word was all over
That I was a crack whore
Melissa had told them
And so now we're not talking
Except we have tickets to see
Blur in October and I think we're stil going oh oh

I've senn better days but I don't care
Oh I just got a letter in the mail...
Oasis sent a photograph
It's autographed and everything
Melissa's gonna wet herself I swear