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[Stella:]
Aida
There's not a melody sweeter
But you'll be sweeter when we begin turning you into a rag
Aida
We're gonna chop up your meter
We're getting tired of you and so
Here's where we're going to hurdy gurdy Mister Verdi
Op'ra
You always sound like an uproar
And that's the reason it's not a sin turning you into a rag
You'll soon be placed with the popular taste
For we're going to rearrange you, change you to a rag

[Ernesta:]
Dreamy
La Boheme
We will hesitate to you
Tho' we aggravate Puccini
He may
Roar and scream
Nevertheless we will hesitate to La Boheme

[Algy:]
Op'ra lovers if you'll grant us your pardon
We'll take the Garden scene from Faust

[Hardacre:]
And we'll rearrange the flower song
And call it our song

[Algy:]
Because it's melody makes a dreamy Maxixe
Op'ra lovers if you do not approve of what we remove of Faust
Just "roust" and occupy back seats while we maxixe
To the Flower song from Faust

[Birdie:]
Everybody's doing it so we'll do the tango
To the strains of Carmen
O'er the floor
Let ev'ry Carmen take a Toreador
And throw her arms around him while they go dancing
To that entrancing melody
There's something in the rhythm of that refrain
That suits us perfectly
That's the reason we do the Tango to
The Carmen melody

[Refrain:]
Oh, you Pagliacci
You make a wonderful one-step a barrel of fun-step
And so before we're through
We'll make a one-step out of you
We like you Pagliacci
Because your melody mellow
By Leon Cavallo
Affords us something new
And so we'll one-step to you

[Verdi:] Please don't rag my melody
[Chorus:] We hate to tantalize you but we mean to modernize you
[Verdi:] Let my Rigoletto be
[Chorus:] We want you syncopated even though we know you hate it
[Verdi:] Tell me why you pick on me
[Chorus:] Because you're out of fashion, syncopation is our passion
[Verdi:] Really I'm as mad as a man can be
[Chorus:] So are we, so are we
[Verdi:] You know it's wrong
[Chorus:] What's wrong? What's wrong?
[Verdi:] To change my song
[Chorus:] Your song is wrong
[Verdi:] 'Twill drive me mad
[Chorus:] Too bad, too bad
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop!
[Chorus:] No! No! No! No!
[Verdi:] I ask you not to rag my melody
[Chorus:] You'll never recognize it from the way that we'll disguise it
[Verdi:] Tell me why, oh, why does it have to be

[Chorus:]
We're growing weary of your dreary little melody
That's why we play it the way it ought to be

[Verdi:] You needn't bother, I would rather you would let it be
[Chorus:] There's nothing to it, we'll do it easily
[Verdi:] Please don't
[Chorus:] We will
[Verdi:] Don't rag my Rigoletto
[Chorus:] We will
[Verdi:] Again I say
[Chorus:] What do you say? What do you say?
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] Yes!
[Chorus:] No!
[Verdi:] You'll have to stop
[Chorus:] No! No! No! No!
[Verdi:] Why are you tired of my melody
[Chorus:] We hate to pay admission for your dreary composition
[Verdi:] It doesn't sound the same to me
[Chorus:] You'll notice in a minute that we put some ginger in it
[Verdi:] You have changed the harmony
[Chorus:] You must admit it's sweeter even though we changed the meter
[Verdi:] Won't you spare my poor Rigoletto

[Chorus:]
Oh, you know, it's slow and so
We'll sprinkle on your melody a bit of originality

[Verdi:] Kindly spare it
[Chorus:] We will tear it
[Verdi:] Don't you dare it
[Chorus:] You must bear it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] Stop!
[Chorus:] We're going to rag it
[Verdi:] No!
[Chorus:] Rag, rag, rag, rag your Rigoletto
[Verdi:] No!

[Chorus:]
Oh, you Pagliacci
You make a wonderful one-step a barrel of fun-step
And so before we're through
We'll make a one-step out of you
We like you Pagliacci
Because your melody mellow
By Leon Cavallo
Affords us something new
And so we'll one-step to you